NaPoWriMo Day 26 - "Integrity"

Today's prompt:

And now for our (optional) prompt. Today, I’d like to challenge you to write a parody. Besides being fun, writing parodies can be a great way to hone your poetic skills – particularly your sense of rhyme and sound, as you try to mimic the form of an existing poem while changing the content. Just find a poem – or a song – that has always annoyed you, and write an altered, silly version of it. Or, alternatively, find a poem with a very particular rhyme scheme or form, and use that scheme/form as the basis for a poem that mocks something else.

If you’d like to get some inspiration, you might consider some of the poems that Lewis Carroll included in Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, which parody the moralistic verse of Isaac Watts. For example, “The Crocodile” is a send-up of Watts’ “How Doth the Little Busy Bee,” while “Tis the Voice of the Lobster” is a parody of Watts’ poem “The Sluggard.” Or, for a briefer and more whimsical poem, consider “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Bat,” which is a parody of “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.”

I have to admit that inspiration came very quickly for me today. I'm not sure it's parody, I think it's more satire, but you have to go with what's in your head. I taken as my basis the song Waking Up by Elastica, which is a song I really like, and changed the lyrics to concern Boris Johnson and all the latest sleaze that's been going on:

On the side of a bus
Said I'd pay them
But I only gave the NHS
A one percent rise
Needed some kit
So I called them
And gave all my mates
The PPE prize

Integrity and honesty has never been easy
Oh-wo-wo I think you should know
(repeat)
Distract with long words
Tell another lie

To drive to test eyesight
Isn't that reckless
I said this to cover up
For my mate Dom
I did up my flat
With some money
But I won't tell you where it is
I got it all from

Integrity and honesty has never been easy
Oh-wo-wo I think you should know
(repeat)
Rumple up my hair
Tell another lie

Integrity and honesty has never been easy
Oh-wo-wo I think you should know
(repeat)
Smile charmingly
Tell another lie

Homeschooling, Trump, and Two Poems

So, the homeschooling began this week. In a positive sense both the kids want to learn, however Isabel wants to do the whole term in a day and gets jealous when Freja gets attention, meanwhile Freja (with her limited vocabulary) needs a bit of extra help with explaining things.

All this is going on with the 11 month old trying to pull everything down, or clinging to us or screeching.

And all this going on with me working full time after having taken a lot of time off over Christmas.

Meanwhile, the Covid situation seems to be getting worse. I've read figures saying that 1 in 30 within London have tested positive, whilst the national figures have topped a thousand for four days running. It's pretty scary really. With the transmission rates being so much higher, I'm amazed that the lockdown is so much more lax this time around. 

The local car dealership appeared to be open today when I went out of a walk which amazes me. I mean, who wants to buy a car during a pandemic anyway?

But we're coping despite being exhausted and in a brain freeze. So, here's the first poem.

Pacing chocolate intake with no means of escape
Laying on the couch, trying not to stay in shape
Anxiety is the new normal state
Grilling Twitter for the latest Covid update
Understanding that there are better ways to live
Empty tank with very little left to give

If all of this wasn't enough, the crazy goings on happening in America just seem hard to fathom. How can it be that a President can be allowed to whip up this sort of situation of gangs breaking into the Capitol and attempting a coup?

It's not something I could ever imagine happening here, even by someone like Farage. It's going to take a long time to heal the wounds over there (and here of course) and across most of the world. 

We definitely appear to be heading into some sort of crunch position. Either humans are going to bring about some sort of cataclysm which only a few (or any) will survive, or we will find a way to pull back from the brink and maybe into a fairer world - one can only hope.

In light of this it was pleasing to see Trump removed from social media channels. Although, they themselves have to take some of the blame for the world being in the position it's in, for not blocking people's channels before this. There is so much hate being peddled there by so many, and yet they are allowed to carry on - some still denying Covid of course.

All this inspired another poem, another acrostic.

Tweeting no more lies to incite

Riots that attempted to

Undermine the democratic process

May we be thankful that his

Presidential days are almost over

Take care & stay safe

Out of Lockdown

Who wants to be out of lockdown?

Because we can't end this too soon.

Our safety is in the hands of a clown

Who wants to be out of lockdown,

Without a care if we swim or drown,

They're shooting for the moon.

Who wants to be out of lockdown?

Because we can't end this too soon.

Cummings and Goings

The comings and goings

Of Dominic Cummings

Appear to be clear

And incredibly damning

Yet Boris and the Cabinet's

Mouths are clamming

Tightly, in shell-shock

Backing, not sacking

The PM's advisor.

Whichever way yo spin it

You cannot disguise a

Blatant infringement of rules

When we've locked down at home

And they've closed all the schools.

But here is a man

Who has taken a trip

Over two hundred miles

Without barely a dip

Of his head in shame

Not taking the blame.

The leadership that

The government is showing

Is abject at best

And Cummings should be going.

Christmas Dreams and Fears

Do you dream of bright wrapped boxes
Full of expensive gifts?
Or do you fear your kids going without
If you don't get those extra shifts?

Do you dream of that after dinner feeling
Contented and well fed?
Or do you fear for another Christmas
Without a roof over your head?

Do you dream of seeing the family
How your nephews have all grown?
Or do you fear that your help won't come
Elderly and all alone?

Do you dream of falling snow
A blanket cold and white?
Or do you fear for rising seas
A world ready to ignite?

Do you dream of getting Brexit done
A nation strong and free?
Or do you fear for the vulnerable
Cast aside like human debris?

Save Our NHS

Be thankful for the doctor
Be thankful for the nurse
Be thankful there's no insurance
That you have to reimburse

Be thankful for the check-ups
Be thankful for the pills
Be thankful they don't come
With astromic bills

Be thankful for the ambulance
Be thankful for the care
Be thankful you don't have to prove
That you can pay the fare

Be thankful for the lifeline
Be thankful it's not the U.S.
Be thankful and please look after
The good old NHS

Abortion Rights

As a man I really struggle knowing what it is I can say, or be allowed to say, when it comes to abortion rights for women, since it is not something that my body will ever have to worry about.

However, I know that denying women and girls the chance of abortion, on the basis that once an embryo has begun it deserves more rights than the person carrying it, is wrong.

There are so many reasons why safe, legal abortions are good. From controlling population growth, to the physical and mental health of women, to reducing the burden that is unwanted children, both on families and on a society.

And it simply comes from elements of the population wanting to have complete control over others, to have power over them for the simple reason that it scares them to be without it.

Men and patriarchies have controlled the world for so long, that now they are beginning to see a hint of a swing against them (for let’s be honest, for all the emancipation, women’s lib and #metoo, barely anything has changed), they are acting to reverse even the most minor changes.

I read that we all have bodily autonomy over whether we would want to provide a blood transfusion to someone, in order to save their life. Our dead bodies have bodily autonomy, when it comes to organ transplants, again in order to save another life. However, women will not have that bodily autonomy when they are pregnant, just in order to save a small bunch of cells.

This perfectly describes the double standards at work, without even going into the ability to own a gun and how many lives are destroyed by that weapon on a daily basis.

My hope is that these recent episodes of curtailing abortion rights become nothing more than an outlier, when we look back upon the history of equality. However, my fear is that it is the embryo of something far more sinister.

As such I have been inspired to two poems for this post:

Poem #1

Barely a foetus

Unknowing; unaware 

Potential in a bunch of cells

Thousands of women

Desperate; in fear

Living their own personal hell

Twenty five men

In full control

Keeping control for themselves

Poem #2

Beginning to grow

But not yet formed

Still in an embryo

Nourished and warmed

By right wing powers

And the patricarchy

Gaining new life

By mother's misery

For those who will suffer

And that reason alone

It should be aborted

And never condoned

Brexitland

Brexitland is a faraway place

And yet it’s there, just on the horizon

But nobody knows how we get there

Whether one walks, or drives, or flies in

And what is there is shrouded in myth

An Atlantis or a Never never land

Has it unicorns, or ogres, no one knows

But we won’t be led by the hand

MP’s stand back, and usher us on

Like pawns in a game of chess

Not caring which way the pieces fall

No desire to clean up the mess

So let’s choose again before it’s too late

The drawbridge still straddles the moat

Decide if we really want to be at siege

By giving us a second vote

Head

Some people lose their heads
Over how others cover theirs
Many a comment has been said
Surrounding what another wears

It's more important what's in their heart
Appearance matters not
Be we will all be split apart
If we continue to allow this rot

Midnight

Couldn't sleep, took an evening walk
To set my thoughts aright
My mind full of the Doomsday Clock
Two minutes to midnight.

But then I thought I was dreaming
I couldn't believe my sight
Standing on the pavement there
Shown up in the pale moonlight.

Was it an elf? Was it a pixie?
Or yes, perhaps, a sprite?
A shadow crept across my brain
Two minutes to midnight.

At sight of me, the creature jumped
Intent on taking flight
Was it they, or was it me
Who'd had the greatest fright?

I started an apology
Trying to sound contrite
Did I hear the sound of bells?
Two minutes to midnight.

But it was her voice so hushed
Accusing from her height
Whispered words that struck the heart
Making my throat tight.

"You're killing us and Mother Earth
Can you not see her plight?"
Swallowing nervously I thought
Two minutes to midnight.

What could I say to this poor creature?
So willowy and slight
The words that tried to form themselves
Shallow; Weak; Trite.

"You all shall die!" She exclaimed
Her eyes were burning bright
Drawing her finger across her throat
Two minutes to midnight.

Spike

When your beautiful car is getting covered in poo
Simply because a bird needs the loo
What springs to mind - to give it a clean?
No, not that, you're far too mean

Instead you look up and see that tree
And rather than how beautiful nature can be
You think, how horrible. Crikey! Yikes!
I must get it covered in sharp metal spikes!

This is the world of the powerful rich
Who do what they want when they have the itch
They disregard nature and disrespect it as well
Don't you just wish they would all go to hell?

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/dec/19/bird-spikes-in-bristol-trees-to-protect-cars-cause-dismay

The Road Alone

A year ago we voted leave
But forty-eight percent still grieve
At the thought that we are cutting ties
Because of those remorseless lies

So is it true that half were duped
Believing money could be recouped
That there'd be no more immigration
Or bureaucratic leglislation

"Take back control, we'll be great again
Don't be silly, don't vote remain
£350 mill. for the NHS
Least that's what the side of this bus says

"Foreigners aims are to disjoint
While the country sits at breaking point
Trust us, we won't lie to you
It's not a glossy, rose-tinted view"

Or was it through desperate hope
For the poorest who can barely cope
That change, that any change, could be
The thing that makes their lives more free

But the choice is made, we've turned our backs
Saying goodbye, and making tracks
On the road alone, with far to go
To a destination we still don't know

If we've made a mistake then time will tell
We may discover that all is well
Another enlightenment may dawn
The flowering of a nation born
Or will it be like the Roman's leaving
A dark age land of self deceiving

Genetics

Violence breeds violence,
In desires to pluck an eye for an eye.
Retribution sought for each attack.
With the aim of escalation.
And it will never stop,
While revenge thrives,
And shouts in the face of love,
While compassion remains a byword,
For cowardice and appeasement.
We must realise that we are all the same,
In both heart and desire,
That the genetics which makes us enemies,
Brings us together.

Firing the Gun

So the gun has been loaded
And we're pulling the trigger
As the shooting begins
You can hear Nigel snigger

Were they lies that they told us
With Gove looking shifty
Exhorting us to war
Over Article 50

But maybe we can hope
For a new golden dawn
Long lasting summers
With cricket on the lawn

At least that's what they told us
The vote to end all votes
No more illegal immigration
Or refugee boats

So now comes the battle
Or renegotiation
The continent looming
Over our faded nation

It won't be a fair fight
Much like a stick to a tank
Or a would-be homeowner
Denied again by a bank

Will they cut our supply lines?
Besiege our wet isle?
Are we really significant
Or in Edwardian denial

We voted knowing nothing
And we know nothing still
Except there'll be losses to both sides
As economic graves fill

Nonsense

They'll say what they want to say
And you'll believe it if you will
In cries of wild abondon
Loud, desperate, shrill

There's no logic in what they're saying
There really is no sense
Why is someone not an expert
If they're gay and used to fence?

And what's so undemocratic
In letting MP's have a say?
They're our elected representatives
Unlike election untested May

The truth is a right wing media
Peddling lies in a right wing land
Where tolerance and diversity
Crumble daily like towers of sand

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2016/nov/04/enemies-of-the-people-british-newspapers-react-judges-brexit-ruling

Barriers

The age of the wall has returned
Barriers to keep us contained
Are Mexicans or Calais concerned
The age of the wall has returned?
From Grammar schools nothing's been learned
Divisions are now pre-ordained
The age of the wall has returned
Barriers to keep us contained

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/sep/06/uk-immigration-minister-confirms-work-will-begin-on-big-new-wall-in-calais

https://www.theguardian.com/education/2016/sep/06/grammar-school-ban-could-end-government-memo-reveals

Obesity

There's a fat chance of them trying
To ban the impact of advertising
On our young

They're cosied up to junk providers
In the pockets of sugar strategisers
Who have brung

This epidemic of child obesity
By appealing to the treachery
Of lifestyle

They are all exercising less
And put under increasing stress
So they pile

On the calories, on the weight
Diabetes, cancer, the ultimate fate
As they grow

But government have never cared
About how the common folk fared
Even if they know

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/aug/18/childhood-obesity-strategy-wasted-opportunity-campaigners

Trident

Green tipped and glowing
They'll stand in the bays
The phallic obelisks
Of bygone days
Of Cold War paranoia
Gripping us like ice
A fear that is costly
And we pay the price

So why not disarm
With a casual shrug
Surprise all opponents
With a smile and a hug
What should scare us most
Is a doomsday device
Which we happily condone
Without thinking twice

For it does not defend
It retaliates
An eye for an eye
It's revenge that it sates
Can peace only be kept
If we stand at the brink?
On the verge of destruction
Hoping others will blink

But still the world rages
When perhaps it should repent
Over all the lives wasted
Over all the money spent
If there is collective conscience
Then we'll all collect the guilt
When nuclear war commences
Seeing the flower of mankind wilt

Farewell

Farewell my friends
But then all love affairs
Must have their ends some day
And as we fade away
Into our island mist
Like the ghosts of old
In Celtic times
We will have our memories
Of how we kissed
In Paris, in Vienna
In Rome where all roads lead
But no more
Of that European tour
And with moist eyes, goodbye
Our sharpened sword
Awaits the fatal deed

Vote

Immigrants from a foreign land
Their welcome overstayed

Worshipping a minority God
To which many have never prayed

Workshy and taking from the state
Living lives at our expense

So we must take our country back
And end this Royal pretence


Imagine a country for the workers
With wealth in common held

The diseased trees of nobility
All cauterised and felled

And spreading across the continents
A soothing salve of peace

Equality for everyone
Where bitterness will cease


So don't let them misdirect you
And fill your heart with fear

They hide who truly has the power
For the sake of their career

It's not the question we should be asking
This should be a different vote

Laying siege to their entitlement
And drain away the moat